


Best Present Ever

by old_robliz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 03:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/old_robliz/pseuds/old_robliz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is in his Sophomore year at Stanford and is missing Dean during the Christmas vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Present Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Winter Wincest fic contest run by deanplease on tumblr.

Sam wandered across the empty campus towards the law library.  Term had finished last week and he had gradually waved off all his new friends.  He’d had offers of going to spend Christmas at their houses but he couldn’t face it.  Not this year.  Last year things had been new and different and exciting.  He’d gone with Kyle to his parents’ house in Columbus, Ohio.  There had been a tree and lots of family and presents and even some snow resulting in snowball fights between Kyle’s cousins and Kyle’s aunts and uncles moaning about the journey back.  It had been great and they had all made him feel really welcome but there was still the niggling thing at the back of Sam’s mind.  Where was Dean?  Was he alright? Did dad remember Christmas this year?  Is Dean sat on his own in a rundown motel with only a bottle of whisky for comfort? Can Dean find me if he wants to?  Sam had left messages telling Dean where he was but since he never picked up the phone anymore, Sam wasn’t sure he even had the right number.  He couldn’t bear the thought of Dean going to Stanford to see him and finding that he’d gone to the other end of the country.

This year Sam had decided that he was going to stay put.  He was staying in his dorm room which was listed in the university directory so if Dean did decide to put in an appearance, he’d be easy to find.  His friends had thought he was mad.  They were worried he was going to be lonely.  They didn’t understand how he could possible want to spend Christmas on his own.  They all had loving families with homes that welcomed them back every vacation.  They could never understand what Sam felt about family and Christmas.  Everything was so dependent on Dean.  He couldn’t really feel anything until Dean was there with him.

Sam may not get lonely, but he certainly got bored.  Three days in to his solitude and here he was, pushing open the doors to the library with a backpack full of books, about to make a start on next semester’s reading.  If he was going to stay at Stanford during the vacation, Sam figured the least he could do would be to get a good head start on the work so that he wouldn’t have to stress as much in January.

A couple of hours later he emerged into the night air.  It was a little cold but nothing like Ohio had been last year.  It never felt quite like Christmas to Sam if it didn’t snow.  Maybe he’d made the wrong decision about which school to end up at.  He tried to picture himself at Harvard or Yale, trudging through the snow back towards his empty dorm room, devoid of any Christmas cheer.  No Dean waiting for him with his best attempt at a tree and presents.  No, actually it was a good thing it didn’t feel Christmassy yet.  It stopped all those memories getting the better of him.  Stopped him missing Dean more that he needed to.

Sam threw his backpack down on the chair and grabbed a soda from the mini fridge.  He lay down on the bed, picking up the remote and flicking through the channels.  What he needed was a good horror film to take his mind off Christmas.  It being a week before Christmas though, there was nothing like that on any channel.  It was Christmas family film after Christmas family film.  Switching the TV off, he reached down and got his book off the floor.  Rolling over, he flicked the reading light on and began to read, enveloping himself in the story and forgetting his current situation.

Christmas eve morning, Sam woke to the sound of carol singers outside his window.  He dragged himself out of bed and over to the window.  One of the departments had organised a carol concert that evening and the choir was rehearsing in the courtyard that Sam’s room overlooked.  Children, no older than 12, were singing while parents watched lovingly.  It made Sam’s heart ache.  His childhood had never been like that.  There were never any parents watching from the sidelines, no one to give him a hug afterwards and tell him how proud of him they were.  No one except Dean.

Sam felt his knees buckle and he sank to the floor.  He didn’t realise that he could possibly miss Dean this much.  Most of the year it was fine because there were other people around to distract him.  He never stopped missing Dean but it was easier.  Now, having spent almost two weeks on his own with no one except the librarians to talk to, he felt the full force of the emotion hitting him.  Tears ran down his face as he whispered Dean’s name.  Dean was everything to him.  His brother, his parent, his friend, the only person that he could rely on in this world.  And Sam had run from that, run from all that love.  He knew why Dean never returned his calls, never answered his emails.  He knew Dean felt betrayed.  He’d left so many apology messages that he had lost count.  And still there was no reply.  Just two days ago, Sam had written a lengthy email trying his best to explain to Dean why he did what he did and how much he still loved Dean and how much he missed him.  But no reply had come.

Sam knew that there were other feelings deep inside him as well.   Feelings that he had never truly acknowledged but that grew every day.  Feelings that he should not be having about his big brother.  But really what choice did he have?  Dean was everything to him.  No one denied that.  So who else would Sam fall for?  Who else would Sam want to touch at the end of a long day?  Who else would Sam want to spend the rest of his life with?   Sam brought his long legs up against the rest of his body, hugging them desperately as he cried.

Sam wasn’t sure how long he sat there, curled up in a ball underneath the window, but by the time he moved the singers had gone.  He showered, dressed and was sitting eating toast when there was a knock on the door.  He walked over to the door, his mind racing with possibilities of who it could be.  He barely dared hope that it might be Dean.

Opening the door, Sam found himself face to face with the building manager.

“Sam Winchester?”

“Yes,” Sam replied, slightly concerned.  Visits from the building manager were usually a bad thing triggered by a complaint from a neighbour.

“This came for you.”  She held out a parcel towards him.  “I know we don’t usually take parcels at the front desk but I thought, since it’s Christmas, and I knew you were on your own up here, it might be important.”

She smiled at him as he thanked her and took the parcel off her.

“Well, have a good Christmas.  The office will be closed for the next couple of days but if you need anything after that, please come and see us.”

“Thanks.  I will.  Merry Christmas.”

Sam stared down at the parcel as the building manager walked off down the corridor.  Who could be sending him a parcel?  He never got post.  Ever.  Ripping the parcel open, Sam discovered a small, black box.  Gingerly, he lifted the lid.  Inside the box was a belt buckle engraved with a number of different protection symbols.  Sam could only think of one person who could possibly have sent him this gift.  Only one person in the world that cared about him enough.  Dean.

He pushed the door closed, not wanting anyone else to intrude on this moment.  With shaky hands, Sam reached for his mobile and dialled Dean’s number.  If Dean had sent him this gift, did that mean that he had forgiven Sam?  Did that mean that he would answer his phone and Sam could hear his voice again?

“The number you have dialled cannot be reached.  Please try again later.”

Sam lifted the belt buckle out of the box and gently ran his fingers over it.  Even if he couldn’t get through to Dean on the phone, this was enough.  This was proof that he still cared.  And maybe one day he would ring Sam.  And Sam could apologise in person.  And everything would be okay again.  Sam smiled as he traced the protection symbols.  Dean was still protecting him from wherever he was, just like he always had done.

Sam was awoken from his thoughts by another knock on the door.  Assuming that it was just the building manager back again, he swung the door open.  But it wasn’t the building manager standing there.  It was Dean.

Dean in all his glory.  Dean in a bashed up leather jacket and jeans.  Dean with scars on his hands.  Dean with a big smile on his face.  Dean reaching his arms out towards Sam.

Sam stepped right into Dean’s arms and wrapped his own arms around Dean.  Dean held him tight and whispered right into his ear, sending tingles down his spine.

“Sammy”

“Dean, Dean, Dean”

Sam buried his face into the crook of Dean’s neck.  It didn’t fit as easily as it used to.  Showed how much Sam had grown since he’d last been held by Dean like this.  Dean still smelled of Dean though.  All beer and leather and something that Sam could never put his finger on but that was just pure Dean.

“I missed you so much Dean.  So much.”

Dean dragged his fingers through Sam’s hair.

“I know Sammy.”

“I’m so sorry I left you.”

“I know Sammy.”

“I love you Dean.”

Dean cleared his throat and pulled away from Sam slightly, not breaking the contact.

“Yeah, me too Sammy,” he said gruffly, refusing to make eye contact with Sam.

Sam could tell that Dean was done with talking about feelings now.   He pulled Dean back close to him for another hug and then stepped away.

“You eaten yet, Dean?  There’s a diner nearby that does great burgers so I’ve heard.”

Dean grinned back at him.

“Yeah?  What are you waiting for?  Let’s go!”

Sam watched as his brother set off down the corridor, not bothering to wait for Sam to put on his shoes and grab his wallet.  Sam didn’t think he’d ever been so happy in his life.  Dean was here.  For Christmas.

That evening Sam sat on the bed watching Dean pour them both large glasses of eggnog.  Dean had insisted on buying huge amounts of Christmas decorations so now Sam’s dorm room resembled an explosion in a Christmas factory.  There was a tree in the corner covered in brightly coloured tinsel and baubles with a big silver star on the top.  Paper chains had been strung from corner to corner across the room.  Mini Santa Clauses covered every available surface.

“I see you got my present,” Dean said, nodding toward the belt buckle abandoned by the door.

“Yeah.  Thanks Dean.  It’s great.”

Dean passes Sam a glass and then sat down on the chair, switching on the TV.  It was still showing all the family Christmas films like before but Sam didn’t mind anymore.  He didn’t want what they had.  He had just what he wanted right here.

It was past midnight and both the boys were comfortably drunk before Dean brought up the sleeping situation.

“Got a spare blanket Sammy?”

“No, why?”

“So I can bed down over here for the night.”

“Oh.”

It hadn’t even crossed Sam’s mind before that.  Dean would need somewhere to sleep.  Sam would have given up the bed in an instant if he thought there was any chance of Dean accepting the offer.

“We can share my bed,” Sam said very quickly before his brain caught up with what his mouth had just said.

“You sure?”

Dean looked quizzically at Sam.  Like he was trying to see something more in Sam’s words.

“Yeah.  It’s not like we haven’t shared before.”

This was true.  So many nights had been spent in the same bed as children.  On a good night it would be a queen sized bed.  When John was feeling badly off it would be a twin.  They had been much younger and much smaller the last time they had shared a twin though.  And Sam hadn’t had these inappropriate feelings last time either.

Dean shuffled off in the direction of the bathroom down the corridor while Sam stripped down to his boxers and t shirt and climbed into the bed.  He pressed himself right up against the wall to try to give Dean as much space as possible.  He tried to ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about sharing a bed with Dean.

Sam was practically asleep by the time Dean crawled into bed next to him.  Sam sighed as he felt Dean’s bare legs touch his.  There really wasn’t enough room in this bed for two grown men.  He rolled over to face the wall.  He could feel the heat of Dean’s body all down his back.  Dean was right there.  It would be so easy to roll over and kiss him.  Not that Sam would do that.  He’d fought these feelings for too many years to give in as easily as that.

“Merry Christmas Sammy,” Dean whispered.

“Merry Christmas Dean.”

Sam awoke with a jolt on Christmas Day.  Something didn’t feel right.  He opened his eyes and tried to roll over.  This proved impossible.  Dean had, at some point in the night, entirely wrapped himself around Sam.  His arms encircled Sam’s chest and his legs were tight around Sam’s legs.  Dean’s body was pressed flush against Sam’s back.  Dean’s face was pressed into the back of Sam’s neck.  As Sam realised how close Dean was, he felt his arousal levels increase dramatically.  He needed to get away from Dean before he did something that he would regret.

“Dean!”

Dean just groaned and shuffled even closer to Sam.  That was when Sam felt it, pressed against his lower back.  Dean was hard.  Sam moaned as he felt his own cock hardening.  He fought desperately to escape from Dean’s arms.  Feeling Dean’s arms loosen slightly, Sam rolled over to face Dean.  Dean was half awake and staring at Sam with a strange look on his face.

“Dean.  I gotta go.  Let me go.”

Dean pulled him close again.  Sam gasped as he felt their cocks rub together.

“Dean!  Please!”

Dean reached a hand up and gently brushed the hair off Sam’s face.

“So beautiful, Sammy.  I’d forgotten,” he whispered.

Sam’s eyes flickered closed at the touch.

“Dean.”

Dean pressed his lips gently onto Sam’s.  Sam pulled away with a gasp, surprised but not upset.

“Dean!”

Dean’s eyes were closed and his breathing was evening out.

“Dean?”

Sam couldn’t believe this was happening.  For years Sam had wanted to kiss Dean and it appeared that Dean might want Sam just as much.  Sam took a deep breath and kissed Dean’s cheek.  Dean mumbled incoherently.  Sam kissed Dean on the lips.

Suddenly, Dean was pushing Sam away, hard and fast.

“Sam!  What are you doing?”

Sam looked back at him, eyes wide and mouth open.  He didn’t understand what was going on.  Dean had kissed him and he’d kissed him back.  Why was Dean acting like this now?

“I thought…y’know…that you...kinda…”

Dean swung his legs off the side of the bed and grabbed his jeans.

“Don’t go,” Sam implored him, using his best puppy dog eyes.  He knew that Dean struggled to resist that.  He couldn’t have Dean leaving now.  Not when he thinks he might have done something that would irrevocably ruin their relationship.

Dean turned around to look at Sam.

“I need to go Sam.  Don’t you see?  We can’t do this.”

“Dean.  Please don’t go.  I…I…need you.”

Sam could feel tears running down his cheek.  He reached out and grasped Dean’s arm, pulling him back down onto the bed.  Dean let himself be manoeuvred until he was lying flat on his back with Sam’s head on his chest.  Sam was still crying as he felt Dean’s hand carding through his hair.

“I need you Dean.  I want you.  Always have done.  Long as I can remember.  And I think you might want me too.  And I can’t let you go.  Not now.  Not ever.”

Dean’s other hand reached down to rub Sam’s back.

“Sammy.”

Sam lifted his head to look into Dean’s eyes.

“We can’t.  It’s wrong.”

“Don’t care.”

Sam was making the exact same face that he used to when he was a petulant toddler.  Dean laughed gently.  Sam didn’t know what to make of that.  He pressed on regardless.

“Do you want me Dean?  Like that?”

He wriggled up until his elbows were on either side of Dean’s head and Sam’s face was no more than a couple of inches from Dean’s.

“Do you Dean?”

Dean turned his head away and gave a curt nod.  Sam raised a hand and gently tilted Dean’s face back round so he was looking at him again.

“Love you Dean.”

Sam captured Dean’s lips in a kiss before Dean could move away again.  He kissed until he felt Dean’s lips begin to move under his.  Until he felt Dean’s hands move down to grip his hips.  Until Dean rolled them both over so that Sam was trapped underneath Dean.

Sam opened his mouth in shock and Dean took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.  Sam felt like his whole body was on fire.  He had never felt this before when he had kissed other people.  He wanted to be as close to Dean as possible.  He drew his legs up and wrapped them around Dean’s waist, pulling him closer.

Dean ground down on Sam, forcing their cocks to rub against each other.  Sam writhed underneath trying to get as much friction as possible.  His whole body shuddered with every movement.  He never knew he could feel like this.  Never knew just how good Dean would be.  One more thrust and Sam came all over the inside of his boxers.  Dean reached a hand down between them to his own cock and with a couple of tugs was coming too.

Dean collapsed on top of Sam and breathed in his ear.

“Merry Christmas Sammy.”

“Merry Christmas Dean.  Best present ever.”

“What, the belt buckle?”

“No.  You.”


End file.
